My mind takes too many faces
It places fictitious motives to the expressions
Then erases however the original expected to be taken
Putting meaning to the images fucks with my patience
I can never explain why my eyes are so drawn
To every microscopic detail of the way their body language
Seems to outline the abstract thoughts that I am plagued with
Till my subconsciousness is torn by the back and forth
I gotta face it if I'll ever make it
Outta this hole I dig myself from constant pacin'
Walking trapeze but the thread ahead is fading
The distractions from what matter slam my brain into the pavement
My thoughts just fly and weave obscene scenes
I can't take the torment of never loving what I see
Am I really too far gone to tell the state of never feeling
Makes the daily shit harder
All my fears causing a cave-in
Let me crash and burn
I've already seemed to turn a new leaf a thousand times
Yet endlessly I still yearn
While the churning in my stomach never ceases to amaze me
It stays steady, more persistent than I could ever aim to be
Still cruising skateboards, smoking weed, fleeing scenes
In the back of my head I know that death awaits me
If my impulsive actions reach a peaking point and leech me
Of the willpower I once held and leak it out

Just need an excuse so I can leave and stay away
But I know it'll bite me in the end
One way or another I just gotta pretend
That the universe is keeping me in check
Just need an excuse so I can leave and stay away
But I know it'll bite me in the end
One way or another I just gotta pretend
That the universe is keeping me in check

A single lighter waving lonely in the night
I try to hide away the things that seem to make me feel alive
Cause the shit that separates me from the torment ain't productive
Gonna falter once another stray thought hits
Feel proud for a minute but unnecessary shame
Rears its ugly-ass head into the frame and takes away
The momentary pride of making something feel right
Still shook cause looking for validation is a plight on my mind
It just halts all progress
I see how others see me
No I don't the thoughts are fucking obscene
Who gives a fuck about what happens to the shit I achieve
The dopamine seeking fiend clings to me like a disease
Just gotta get past the ticktock
Of my pulse telling me I gotta flaunt to anyone
While the truth remains that the only one to please
Is myself as I claw back from the brink

Just need an excuse so I can leave and stay away
But I know it'll bite me in the end
One way or another I just gotta pretend
That the universe is keeping me in check
Just need an excuse so I can leave and stay away
But I know it'll bite me in the end
One way or another I just gotta pretend
That the universe is keeping me in check